tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post2417136169268430612..comments2020-01-31T10:55:44.042-08:00Comments on Catholic Moms Talk: The Faith and Our ChildrenDonna-Marie Cooper O'Boylehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16415118689761630639noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post-61099357122057224632012-10-13T16:12:53.968-07:002012-10-13T16:12:53.968-07:00When I wrote this post, I was thinking back to the...When I wrote this post, I was thinking back to the years when I was a young mother and how passing on the faith seemed like it was going to be as natural as teaching how to brush teeth or a set a table. Surely once I had demonstrated the value of faith, gave my son the tools and skills to practice it and modeled it for him, he would see the value and wisdom and embrace it as his own. Oh, there might be a few times when he would question or disagree, but surely they were going to be as minor as the difference between his dad's preference of Colgate and mine of Crest. I hadn't really counted on free-will being so, well, free.<br /><br />Coming to grips with the reality that my son's beliefs and practices don't mirror my own was a source of great pain (and lots of tearful prayers) for many years. I blamed myself for "what I have done and what I have failed to do" over and over. I tried to reason, rationalize, and sometime rag at him, but finally, I had to come to terms with the fact that he is an adult and has his own relationship with God. Ultimately, I came to see that his relationship with God was his business, not mine.<br /><br />It's not been easy and, at times, it still isn't. We continue to talk religious beliefs, but I've learned to listen more than speak (I hope I have!)<br /><br />I pray for him and his journey in life every day, as I know you all do for your children. I have, however, given up believing that I can do anything more than that. I have to work on my own faith, and lack of at times, while trusting that God is working is my son's life and mine.<br /><br />It really comes down to trust, doesn't it? Trust that God loves us, loves our children and will do what we cannot to maintain a relationship with each of us.<br /><br />Blessings on this journey of faith we are walk together!<br /> Woodeenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06221862327354832759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post-11591329277427030232012-10-13T14:25:39.293-07:002012-10-13T14:25:39.293-07:00Thank you! What a wonderful post.
My response to ...Thank you! What a wonderful post.<br /><br />My response to those who want to praise me for my children or lament my short-comings has always been: "It is not me, but God. I do not want to take the credit for whatever my children make right choices, then I would have to take the blame when they don't."<br /><br />What a great reminder that my children do exercise their free-will; whether I want them to or not. ;)<br /><br />Blessings<br />KarenKarenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17116744968777228314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post-64805050249306142532012-10-13T06:27:09.923-07:002012-10-13T06:27:09.923-07:00I'm always reminded of St. Monica when it come...I'm always reminded of St. Monica when it comes to older children leaving the faith. I'm sure that many a Catholic mother is praying for St. Monica's intercession for their wayward children.Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16415118689761630639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post-90258798347178551812012-10-12T17:22:39.786-07:002012-10-12T17:22:39.786-07:00I agree Genevieve, we can lay the groundwork but o...I agree Genevieve, we can lay the groundwork but our children have to accept the path to God as adults. We have to stay on the sidelines, rosary in hand. Blessed Mother, be with our children as they search for peace and love, guide their steps to the Heart of Your Son. <br />Leticiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08170455690163831806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post-72638724716179245382012-10-12T14:11:57.255-07:002012-10-12T14:11:57.255-07:00Very well said. My kids are sorting it out as youn...Very well said. My kids are sorting it out as young adults, and now it's a matter grace and free will. All we can do is propose and leave it in their hands. Interestingly, most of the strong Catholics I know are either converts or the products of very lax homes/schools. The Spirit blows where It wills...Genevievehttp://feminine-genius.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post-30229044497419324982012-10-12T13:58:21.511-07:002012-10-12T13:58:21.511-07:00What a great post! Thank you for the truth of what...What a great post! Thank you for the truth of what you've shared here. I love the baking reference and the reminder of what we can and cannot do--and the encouragement to continue doing our job even if and when we feel we've failed. This has been so wonderful to read! Thank you.Cheryl Dickowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17460181952854840809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post-90510527652241176722012-10-12T12:56:26.355-07:002012-10-12T12:56:26.355-07:00Thanks Woodeene. It's good to cross paths with...Thanks Woodeene. It's good to cross paths with you again. Years ago, you helped me break into freelance magazine writing through a couple pieces I did for Catholic Parent. I miss that magazine. :) I think this is a great topic to launch our Year of Faith as parents. So true and such a great reminder. If you think about it, who do we think we are to believe we could, on our own accord, lead anyone to the Faith? It is God alone, alone, sometimes acting through us, but always leading the way. And free will, because love cannot be without it, dictates the end result. The most we can do, I think, is pray, and give our children ultimately back to the Father. Roxane B. Salonenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01459456545891720716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post-72883139828851477362012-10-12T12:06:41.877-07:002012-10-12T12:06:41.877-07:00Many parents blame themselves. How many times hav...Many parents blame themselves. How many times have I heard a mother say "We sent our son/daughter through twelve/sixteen years of Catholic schooling and they don't even go to church anymore!!"<br /><br />Thank you from me too, Woodeene. Now I know what to tell these worried parents when I hear them say this!<br /><br />LorraineAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post-45097884715718350302012-10-12T11:36:44.271-07:002012-10-12T11:36:44.271-07:00Thanks, Woodeene, this statement is definitely a g...Thanks, Woodeene, this statement is definitely a good dose of reality. Not for the kids who accept our faith, but for those who don't: "In the end, we really don’t pass the faith to our children. We offer it to them and they either accept or reject it. It is their choice." Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12149384486807019007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1088799651980921971.post-82829901629388242992012-10-12T07:45:13.761-07:002012-10-12T07:45:13.761-07:00I love this. And especially this, "Anymore th...I love this. And especially this, "Anymore than it is ours to accept the blame when they reject it. (No matter how imperfectly we mixed the cake.)" <br /><br />I also have long believed that we need to respect our adult children who may not have our faith, the same as we would (I hope) respect any other adult, not as clones of ourselves but as individuals whose lives and hearts we may not know as intimately as we might think we do. And, without credit or blame of ourselves or them, to pray for them, not in desperation but in trust in God's wisdom and goodness in their lives. <br /><br />Thank you for sharing!Simple Faith and Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09963791921016417189noreply@blogger.com