Catholic Mom Ponders the Chapel Veil

Pros and Cons of Wearing the Veil 

by Gail Buckley, LHS

Gail Buckley, LHS, is the founder and president of Catholic Scripture Study International (www.cssprogram.net ) She also hosts “The Bible Lady” show live every Monday on Radio Maria and as well as a “Bible Lady” segment on The Catholic Connection with Teresa Tomeo on Ave Maria radio.  Gail serves on the boards of several Catholic apostolates and  is a Lady of the Knights and Ladies of the Holy Sepulchre of Jerusalem, an ancient order under the Papacy.  In 2009 Gail had a private audience with Pope Benedict XVI and presented him with a CSS study. To contact Gail, please email info@cssprogram.net   

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I had a profound conversion of heart at age 45, which in turn led to my conversion to the Catholic Church.  In hindsight, I believe it was the culmination of a journey Mother Mary started me on when I was 15 years old, maybe even younger, but that’s another story for another time. 

I grew up as a Methodist in a small southern town where there were many Protestant churches but only one Catholic Church. There was a Catholic school adjoining the Church and it was only 2 blocks from my house.  In fact, the Church was on the corner of the street where my best friend, Carol lived and so when we visited each other we would walk by the Church. Often we would stop and swing or see-saw on the school playground. 

Even closer to my home, just around the corner, was a Catholic convent that housed nuns who taught at the Catholic school. This was in the late 1950’s, before Vatican II when all nuns wore full habits.  I often saw the nuns walking to or from the school and Church and I was always in awe whenever I saw them.  I thought they were the holiest people I’d ever seen.  I don’t know why I thought this because I knew nothing about the Catholic faith but they had a positive impact on me, even though I never even talked to them. Just the fact that they wore those habits spoke volumes to me – they were not ashamed of their faith or their calling. As Jesus said, no one lights a lamp and then puts it under a bushel basket.  They were letting the light of Christ show through them just by wearing their habits – they didn’t hide the fact that they were brides of Christ. 

It wasn’t just the nuns who captured my attention by their attire though. I also noticed that Catholic women and girls wore veils on their heads when they attended Church. Again, I was very impressed.  Only Catholic girls did this and this set them apart and that made them special in my mind.  I thought it made them appear holy too. I certainly didn’t have any theological reason for my thinking – just that to me It just seemed like the right and reverent thing to do when attending the house of God. 

And that brings me to the topic of this article.  My husband is also a convert and a few years ago he started questioning me as to why I didn’t wear a veil. He said, “You’re the “Bible Lady” (my nickname and name of my radio show) “and in Scripture St. Paul says that women should cover their heads at Church.”  I replied r, “well, the Church interprets Scripture and the Church doesn’t require women to wear veils any longer and I follow what the Church teaches.” After a couple of years though he started challenging me about it.  To my response he’d say, “Well, the Church doesn’t require you to go to daily Mass but you do, right?  And the Church doesn’t require you to pray the Rosary, but you do that too.” True. “And the Church no longer requires you to abstain from meat on Fridays except during Lent, yet you abstain every Friday of the year, correct?” [Editor's note: we are required to do penance on Fridays if we don't abstain from meat during times of the year other than Lent when we are required to abstain.] That’s true too. “And the Church doesn’t require you to go to confession but once a year but you go on a regular basis.” Right again.  “So, he said, why is it that you don’t wear a veil?” I didn’t have an answer.

 So I decided I should pray about it and I believe it was from that prayer that I was led to make a list- a list of pros and cons for wearing the veil.  Below is my list:

Pros             

Wearing a veil shows reverence for Christ and His Church

It gives a good example to others outside the Church

It feels like the right and holy thing to do

It shows my faith - that I’m Catholic

It’s a simple expression of my love for Christ, His Word and His Church

It’s a very easy way to show the reverence I have for Christ in the Eucharist.

Cons

I look like a drowned rat with it on my head; not at all flattering to my appearance

It’s old fashioned and the Church no longer requires it

It’s hard to remember to wear it and it’s not always convenient

I’m a lector and I’d have to wear it up on the altar where everyone would see me

People would probably stare at me and make me feel self conscious

People would think I was trying to appear “holier than thou”

I’d have to buy one and they’re difficult to find and also expensive

I’m invited to speak at Churches – It’d be embarrassing to have a veil on when giving a talk at a Church.

If I started wearing it, I’d have to do it all the time

As you can see, I had more arguments against wearing the veil than for it but if you’ll also notice that my arguments against wearing the veil are all based in pride.  It was obvious to me that I had no good excuses for not wearing the veil and many good reasons for doing so. 

I think wearing a veil at Mass is the LEAST I can do to show reverence for our Lord in the Blessed

Sacrament.  As a Catholic I realize that our outward actions reflect what is in our hearts.  Genuflecting, kneeling, crossing ourselves, using incense, dipping our fingers into the holy water when entering and leaving Mass – these are all outward actions that reflect our inward feelings of reverence, just as wearing a veil does. 

We are living in times when there is a lack of respect for our Lord and His Church. Atheism and Relativism has become the norm. Many fall away from the faith because they don’t understand it and don’t see people living their faith. We need to set examples of reverence for others.  Maybe they will be intrigued enough to start looking into their faith more and come closer to our Lord in doing so.

And you may be surprised to know that faithful Catholic men like to see women wearing the veil – just as my husband wanted me to do so.  I’ve been complimented by many good Catholic men and priests about wearing the veil.  One young priest said to me that he loved looking out at the congregation and seeing women wearing veils.  He felt that it was important to do everything we can to restore reverence in Church and  he wished that wearing the veil would make a comeback. 

I hope women who are reading this article will give this simple act of reverence more consideration.  Think about it -  what are your reasons for NOT doing so?

Following Mary's steps in hope, faith and love

Following Mary's steps in hope, faith and love

Catholic Mom's Cafe: Catholic Mom's Cafe filled with Faith, Hope, and L...

Catholic Mom's Cafe: Catholic Mom's Cafe filled with Faith, Hope, and L...: "I treasure my morning prayer time, which sets the tone for the rest of my busy day. And yet, we moms often have the best of intenti...

Where was Mary?

Converts often have a reticence about Mary. After my conversion, Mary fit theologically into the overall picture of the faith for so many reasons. As one Church Father noted, "You cannot have God as your Father without Mary as your mother." Of course. On paper "she works." Now as a person, she's another matter.

Like any person, time has to be invested in the relationship to build a foundation of love, trust, and understanding. This Easter will be my 29th as a Catholic — call me slow, but the foundation is finally in place. Years of rosaries, meditations, spiritual reading, theological formation, and, most importantly, personal prayer have allowed the relationship to blossom and deepen into a wondrous friendship. The abstract understanding of "new Ark of the Covenant" and "mediatrix of all graces" has warmed into the honest-to-goodness joy of knowing that she is "my mother!"

Therefore, this Holy Week I can't help but wonder beyond all my observance of the profoundly beautiful liturgies that lead to and mark the Passion — where was Mary?! What could she be doing at this intense time as her Son's earthly life comes to its climactic close? How could she be enduring this sword of all swords, piercing her heart and making its attempt to shatter her peace?

Once again — silence. Just as she is so quiet in the biblical accounts, she is all but absent in this pivotal week. But we know that she's there, most likely in Jerusalem already. Just as she and Joseph brought the Holy Child to the feasts each year, she made the trip alone this time. Alone or probably with her circle of women friends, mothers of key figures in the ministry of Jesus and those who provided for Him and His disciples over the years.

I picture now this subdued and apprehensive band of prayerful women. They know at the depths of their very beings that something powerful is about to occur. They've seen the anger, the threats, the attempts to silence and stone Jesus. They recognize the stirrings in the hearts of their sons. They also know that it is for them to withdraw and let the events pass; but rather than wring their hands over feeling "isolated" or "marginalized," they will pray intensely for the will of God to prevail, whatever that might be. Following the lead of the Mother of Jesus, they will all observe the demands of their Jewish faith at this important spiritual time while joining their every word and prayer to the intention at hand — the fulfillment of God's plan of Salvation.

I know her circle of women is focused; they are hidden — but not inconsequential. Every step of Christ is paved with Mary's prayers, His very flesh yearns for souls and thus so does hers. She models for us where our hearts should be and on what our thoughts should be resting. Amidst the tumultuous events of the week — when the very sons of the women in her circle betray her own Son — they will all remain fixed in prayer, in an attitude of forgiveness, and with hopeful eyes on their loving Father, Who will bring them all to the Resurrection in His own time, the time ordained since before any of us were.

Her prayerful silence and support mean more to me than ever this year as the Church continues along its path of purification. She is mother and refuge for all who weep and suffer, she is strength for those who find themselves weak or faint-hearted. We have found Mary and it is with her that we must be. A blessed Holy Week.

Also here: http://feminine-genius.com/index.cfm?load=page&page=305

When Weakness Becomes Our Strength

I am happy to welcome, our guest blogger, Allison Gingras who is a Catholic writer and inspirational speaker. She founded Reconciled To You ministries in 2009, which seeks to awaken our response to God's abounding gift of grace by cultivating a Sacramental life. Allison is currently producing women’s events on topics of Forgiveness and Trust. She is very excited about her upcoming event, “A Taste of God’s Grace” in Danbury, CT on June 22, 2013. Allison's book: "Three Persons, One God: Growing in Relationship with Father, Son and Holy Spirit" encourages the reader to reconcile their idea of God, with that which is taught us in Scripture and Tradition.  She also contributes a bi-weekly column to TechTalk on Catholicmom.com - reviewing Android Apps and Technologies as they relate to the Catholic Faith. 

When Weakness Become Our Strength

As a mother, I make a lot of mistakes. It is probably what I do the most of, and am the best at.

While that may seem a negative assessment of one’s motherhood, I consider it a fair and accurate evaluation.   I see it as a frame of mind that keeps me humble, honest and always trying to improve. I am far from a failure as a mom, as I am blessed with three children who still do most of what is asked of them, come to me for advice, and participate in our Catholic faith without bribery or threats. However, I know that this admittance of my weaknesses and natural tendencies to get lazy in some area of discipline and parental involvement, are in truth my strengths. In order to keep improving as a parent, I must first admit that there is always room for learning and growing in my vocation.

Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12:10

     In this Year of Faith, I am taking my attitude toward parenting and applying it to my vocation as a Christian Catholic. Over the many years of practicing my Catholic faith, I have made many mistakes.  Practice, does not, as they say, always make perfect.  I’ve had phases of being lazy at spiritual things, and doing the bare minimums – or less.  I’ve had phases of excuse making about why I was not attending Mass regularly, was avoiding confession, and even giving up on praying.   Then the pendulum would swing, and I would experience times of arrogance of faith, sure that I had overcome all earthly bonds, emerging from the confessional booth to become -- (*you’ll have to add your own super hero theme music here for effect) – Super Catholic!  Scripture warns against being a lukewarm follower, as well as speaks of the dangers of self-righteousness.   

     To grow in skill as a parent, I have a many options. I can talk to more experienced moms about lessons they have learned in their own journeys of motherhood. I can pick up reading on proper parenting – such as magazines and books. I can hit cyberspace for advice, instruction, or just plain old fashioned camaraderie. Additionally, I can take my concerns, fears and present state of motherhood to God – seeking His grace, guidance and blessing, knowing His promise to never abandon or forsake me. Yet to make any true changes, I must first admit where I weak, so that I know what information I am looking for, what questions I need answered, and most importantly, what areas I need to change.  If I am not willing or able to admit weakness, then I will not be open to accepting guidance and I will remain stuck where I am as a parent, which for me would have meant being stuck forever with a non-sleeping, tantrum throwing, unpotty-trained child (or 2)!

     To grow as a Catholic, I have to my surprise, the same options.  I can talk to more experienced women (or men) of faith, and learn from their spiritual journeys. I can open up the Bible,the  Catechism, or any number of wonderful Catholic books available to enlighten and teach me. In addition, a plethora of wonderful magazine and newspapers are available to aid in education of the faith.  

     Cyberspace provides many fantastic resources for faith discovery – however, just as when someone uses it as a Pediatrician, the Internet as a Spiritual Director, requires prudence and common sense.  Nevertheless, I cannot help but marvel at how God has allowed the World Wide Web, in particular social media, to bring His Church together. As we continue to experience a decline in the number of Catholics living their faith, being able to connect with those who do, will become increasingly important.  

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” Deut 31:6

     Always, I can turn to God, seeking His grace, guidance and blessing--knowing His promise to never abandon or forsake me. If I can humble myself before God, admitting the areas of my spiritual life that are lacking, then I am open to receive the graces God has for me to fill those holes.  If I am not willing or able to admit weakness, I will not be open to accept God’s loving, merciful and gentle direction and I will remain stuck where I am, which for me would mean being stuck forever as a lukewarm, tantrum throwing, untrained in my faith adult!