Moving Closer To The Crib

Moving Closer To The Crib During a Season of Struggles and Great Hope

We read in the Catechism, “When the Church celebrates the liturgy of Advent each year, she makes present [the] ancient expectancy of the Messiah, for by sharing in the long preparation for the Savior’s first coming, the faithful renew their ardent desire for His second coming (CCC, 524).”

Just recently, in his Dec. 2^nd Angelus at St. Peter’s Square, Pope Benedict reminded us of our responsibilities as a Christian witness during this time of year. He said, “Amid the turmoil of the world, or the deserts of indifference and materialism, Christians accept salvation from God and witness with a different way of life, like a city set on a hill.”

Pope Benedict also told us that we are “a sign of the love of God, his justice that is present in the history but that is not yet fully realized, and that we must therefore always be waiting and seeking it with courage and patience.”

Advent is one of the most beautiful seasons in our Liturgical year. It’s a season of joyful expectation – all about reflecting on our faith and pausing to prepare our hearts to greet the Christ Child, and even preparing for entering our Eternal reward and looking forward to Jesus coming in His full glory one day. It is indeed a distinctive period filled with the amazing graces awaiting us – pregnant with wondrous hope!

Sometimes, though, the hype from the secular culture, which seems to scream at us at every turn, can be downright discouraging. Trying to find the necessary silence required to immerse our hearts into prayer at this time of year can be extra challenging. As well, we might be feeling overwhelmed thinking about our responsibilities to “put on a great Christmas” or to accomplish everything we feel compelled to do and maybe feeling tempted to pull off some sort of unobtainable level of perfection regarding our shopping, decorating, baking or whatever.

Our to-do list seems endless and we usually inadvertently add to it: the cookie baking, pageant watching, Christmas card writing, cleaning and scrubbing every corner of the house for the holidays, getting the tree, decorating, holiday parties to attend, the meal preparations and food shopping. Oh! Did I mention Christmas shopping?

The Advent season can get utterly lost in our busyness and the culture’s craziness. Perhaps, instead of lamenting about the fact that we feel so bombarded and stretched while facing that lack of time dilemma to truly participate in Advent, let’s instead do something different. How about attempting to change our attitudes (how about practicing the virtues?) and tweak our schedules a bit to weave in extra prayer and meditation on the marvelous events that mark the Advent season?

Advent Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated 

Try to take the unnecessary pressures off of yourself. You don’t need to strive for Norman Rockwell picture perfect – seriously!

Along these lines, in my newest book, Rooted in Love: Our Calling as Catholic Women, I said:

I think that we women can become our own worst enemy by worrying that we’re not doing enough to please others and God, too. We actually heap more responsibilities (whether they be actual or emotional) than is necessary upon our own shoulders. We deal with so many demands for perfection in our lives. Many of the saints spoke about how a whole lot of us might never do very big things in life (or what some might consider “big” things). But we can lead simple yet faithful lives by doing small things with great love. This is very pleasing to God and is actually the secret to real holiness as both St. Therese of Lisieux and Blessed Teresa of Calcutta preached. And, yes, God calls all of us to become saints.

Perhaps the irony is that, as many women struggle with the demands of our society and the mass media to become “perfect,” achieving perfection is simply being faithful to the duties of our lives. God looks at perfection much differently than do we.

I think of the holy simplicity of tiny baby Jesus making His entrance into the world very quietly in Bethlehem in a cold cave in the dark of the night, warmed by the breath of animals and His loving Mother’s tender embrace.

I ponder the humility, obedience, and holy love of Mother Mary, a faithful young Jewish teen of Nazareth in Galilee who had prayed with her people for the coming of the Messiah and perhaps for half a second found it difficult to grasp that she was the simple virgin chosen by God to bring about the birth of our Savior.

When the Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary delivering the life-transforming message, Mary took the blessing straight away to her heart and offered her whole being to God – her Fiat. “Here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Through her selfless Fiat, Mary was immediately collaborating with the entire work of what Jesus would accomplish.

As we know, the angel Gabriel also informed Mary that her elderly cousin Elizabeth was pregnant with John the Baptist. Rather than worry about her own pregnancy discomforts, Mary focused on the service of another by running in haste to help Elizabeth for the remainder of her pregnancy.

Blessed Mother Teresa spoke about our Blessed Mother’s generous heart in lovingly serving Elizabeth. She said,“The wonderful tenderness of a woman’s heart: to be aware of the sufferings of others and to try to spare them that suffering, as Mary did. Do you and I have that same tenderness in our hearts? Do we have Mary’s eyes for discovering the needs of others?”

No matter how much we may try to run and hide from the seasonal chaos, we should remember that Advent is indeed a season of hope and expectation for the most wonderful GIFT of all, given to us by our loving God. There’s no need to go into hibernation mode to avoid the crowds at the malls or the advertizing frenzy on the TV and radio. Unless we live the life of a hermit, we are meant to associate with others – within our families and when we are out and about in our community. Amazing transformations can occur within our encounters and exchanges when we allow God in.

Perhaps we can all take some time in the coming days to ponder how God might be calling us to “run in haste” to aid someone. Could it be our spouse, our child, our relative, our fellow religious, our co-worker, or our lonely neighbor?

Reaching Out Beyond Our Comfort Zone

Reaching out to those in need around us can be accomplished in the seemingly tiniest of ways – a smile, a friendly word (even when it might be difficult to do so!) and in greater deeds too, like helping our elderly neighbor decorate for Christmas or bringing a hot meal to a shut-in and visiting for a while. When the phone rings or a message comes in through your social media from someone requesting your advice, perhaps you can consider it to be an opportunity to serve with Christ’s love even when you are so busy. Time is a precious gift, often tough to part with in these jam-packed days. But, the rewards are great indeed for everyone involved.

You can perhaps discuss with your spouse, family, or parish group possible ways in which you can make a loving difference in someone’s life this Advent season. In addition to your gesture being warm and lovely, the act becomes a Christian example, a form of evangelization.

In my new book, Rooted in Love: Our Calling as Catholic Women I talk a lot about the necessity of prayer in our lives and I express that I wholeheartedly believe that one of the most important prayers is our Morning Offering in which we offer our prayers, works, joys, and sufferings to our Lord first thing in the morning on our knees right by the side of our bed. I said:

The great thing about the morning offering is that you are surrendering everything over to God as you start your day. In this way, you are giving him complete control – handing him the reins. By doing so, you in essence are freeing yourself of worrying about how things will unfold throughout the day. All of the challenges, craziness, joys, and everything that presents itself will be enveloped in a trusting prayer to God. He will be with you and help you in every detail of your day. It’s a simple prayer requiring very little time and effort, but when sincerely and lovingly presented to God, it will guarantee that your life that day is shrouded in his infinite grace and love – no matter what happens!

Yes, schedule those essential times of personal and family prayer. But, be mindful too, that simply living out our vocations in life as faithfully as we can is in reality a prayer too. Everything that happens and each person we encounter is an extraordinary opportunity for grace. The outcome of every experience depends upon our attitude and our responses to each circumstance.

This awareness can perhaps offer us another way to view little hardships, inconveniences, and greater trials we may experience too, as well as the encounters of grumpy demeanors, or people with short fuses, “parking lot rage,” and the various needs of others in our midst.

Let’s pray for the courage and patience that our Holy Father Pope Benedict encouraged us to use during this Advent time of seeking and waiting. The world looks to us as that “city set on a hill.” Will we say “Yes” to God even when we are being challenged? Can we even pray for the people who harass us or irritate us in some way?

I’m reminded of the guy who gave me the finger in the grocery store parking lot. In return, I waved a friendly “hello” to him and then prayed a decade of the Rosary for him as I drove away. As Mother Teresa would say, that person is“Jesus in the distressing disguise of the poorest of the poor.” Maybe there’s no one else in his life at this time who would take the time to pray for him. Perhaps God put me in his life to gift him with prayer.

Let’s ask ourselves, “Do we have Mary’s tenderness of heart and her eyes for discovering the needs of others?” Can we “renew our ardent desire” each time we utter “Yes” to our Lord in all He asks of us this season of hope?

Here I am Lord

Dear Lord, Jesus, please open my heart more fully during this Advent season and please nourish my heart and soul with Your abiding love and comfort. Help me to feel Your miraculous peace at a time when I feel stretched to keep up with all I need to do and while I struggle with what the world beckons me to accomplish. I am continually bombarded with messages from a lopsided culture and the ever-present advertising frenzy all around me and I wish to keep my eyes on You. 

Show me the way to strike a healthy balance regarding preparing for the Christmas holiday and preparing my heart to welcome You more completely. Please continue to enkindle the holy flame of Your love which You have placed in my heart so that I might become a radiant beacon of Faith to all I meet this Advent season and beyond. 

I pray that every person I encounter will feel Your holy presence in my soul. I humbly offer this prayer to Your most Sacred Heart, dear Lord Jesus. I trust in You. Amen.

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You can see this article at: http://www.integratedcatholiclife.org/2012/12/donna-marie-cooper-oboyle-moving-closer-to-the-crib/

Hark, a Herald Voice Is Calling...

I am thrilled to welcome Johnnette S. Benkovic to "Catholic Moms Talk" today. Johnnette is the Founder and President of Women of Grace®, a Catholic apostolate for women featuring a number of outreaches including conferences, media, study groups and more. She is also Founder and President of Living His Life Abundantly® International, Inc. (a 501(c) 3 not-for-profit corporation). After years of being a non-practicing Catholic, in 1981 Johnnette experienced a deep conversion back to her Catholic faith. Her conversion sparked a new vocation: that is, one of sharing the Gospel message through the utilization of media. She has been an inspiring and consistent presence on Catholic radio (1987) and in Catholic television (1988) ever since. You can find Johnnette here: www.womenofgrace.com

Johnnette is the Executive Producer of the Women of Grace® television program, a program highlighting contemporary issues from a Catholic perspective which also discusses authentic femininity™ in the world today. She is also host of Women of Grace® Live, a call-in radio talk show airing five times a week. She is heard nationally on AM/FM stations, Sirius Satellite 160, and internationally via short wave radio.

In addition, Johnnette is a popular conference speaker, published author, retreat director, and seminar presenter. She is the author of several books including Full of Grace: Women and the Abundant Life, Grace-Filled Moments, Living Life Abundantly: Stories of People Who Have Encountered God, Experience Grace in Abundance: Ten Strategies For Your Spiritual Life and The New Age Counterfeit. She also developed the internationally recognized Women of Grace® Foundational Study Series which has transformed thousands of women worldwide through the healing love of Jesus Christ.

On the personal side, Johnnette lost her son Simon in a tragic vehicular accident, just after he returned from Iraq as a decorated soldier. Soon after Simon’s death, she lost her beloved husband of more than thirty three years, Anthony, to terminal brain cancer. Through these tragedies, Johnnette was strengthened by her faith, family, friends and the prayers of the many wonderful supporters of Living His Life Abundantly® and Women of Grace®. Family life is very important to her. She enjoys time with her daughters, grandchildren, extended family and friends.

Hark, a Herald Voice Is Calling

Hark, a herald voice is calling;

                                

“Christ is nigh,” it seems to say;

“Cast away the dreams of darkness,

O ye children of the day.”

Lo, the Lamb, so long expected,

Comes with pardon down from heaven;

Let us haste with tears of sorrow,

One and all to be forgiven.

                                               Roman Breviary,

                             Hymn En clara vox redarguit at Lauds

For Reflection: 

Advent is a time to watch, wait, and make preparation. How do I see all three of these reflected in the above hymn? How am I employing these in my life as I begin this Advent season?

Come back to visit "Catholic Moms Talk" tomorrow for another (longer) Advent Reflection by Johnnette.

Find Johnnette here: www.womenofgrace.com                                           

Affairs of the Heart

I am very happy to welcome Genevieve Kineke to "Catholic Moms Talk" today. Genevieve is a wife, mother of five, and convert to the faith. Her latest book is Set Free: The Authentic Catholic Woman's Guide to Forgiveness (Servant Books). She can be found online at feminine-genius.com.

“Affairs of the Heart”

There is a common question that asks if there are more stars in the sky or grains of sand on the earth. Such distractions can be amusing, not only for the sake of comparisons, but also to remind us of the vastness of the universe. Our Lord is immense, indeed.^*

While God is creator of those things too big to contemplate, he is also the one who counts the hairs on our confused heads, showing that he is also the master of every detail (cf. Luke 12:7). From galaxies to dust particles, he has it all in hand. But what is that to a busy mother?

I recently came across a detail that leapt out at me—a minute element of life that we can all understand in a portion of the private revelation Jesus gave to Saint Faustina:

“Tell sinners that I am always waiting for them, that I listen intently to the beating of their heart… When will it beat for Me?” (Diary, 1728). 

Heartbeats! Now we've delved into a woman's world—the universe of love and affection, of mood and inclination. While the number of hairs on our heads is academic—quite superfluous to our vocation—the pulse of those around us is the very thing we monitor in various ways.

Surely, we know who once made our hearts leap, and perhaps we've been privileged to make a life with them at our side. Our children often bring about those pitty-pats of joy and delight as well. But there are other jolts that are more ominous—an unexpected email, a phone call relating a medical emergency, or the face of a friend that signals crisis. 

What brings this reflection together, though, is the arrival of Advent which has a life of its own—a life that is wrapped in memories, family events, and acts of piety. There are the meals, the gifts, the cards, the gatherings. There are the pageants and the concerts, the plays and the recitals, and amidst it all we pray. We internalize all of these dutiful actions scattered along the path to Christmas, and see our participation in each as an extension of our love for others.

But when we make this journey towards the Crib, what does Our Lord read in our heartbeats? Do we realize that he is close enough to monitor our very pulse from second to second? In assessing our calm (or anxiety!) he knows what our priorities are. He senses our anticipation, our frustration, even the occasional wave of dread—but over what? Is the elevated pressure a measure of our longing for Christ, or a response to the peer pressure to keep up appearances? When our hearts skip a beat, is it over neglecting Christ, or due to impending responsibilities? Do we fuss about mundane details or about those occasions that reveal our lack of love? Does our heart race for him and his intentions, or merely concerning the frivolities of our own making? 

Picture, if you will, the unborn Lord living beneath the heart of Mary, which beat steadily in confidence and love. Her priorities were his, her anxiety felt only on his behalf, her anticipation lay in embracing him alone. Their hearts beat in unison, the Immaculate one depending on that which was Sacred, hers having been spared by the piercing of his. 

Follow your heart, in the coming weeks, but not in the worldly sense. Attend to what agitates it, what excites it, and what it fears—so that you'll know what Christ already knows. There is so much that we do that is oriented toward him and his splendid nativity, but not all. That which still tarries in the world must be laid at his feet so that it can be purified. When your heart finally beats for him, you will truly be his—and all will be well. 

Mrs. Kineke is a married mother of five. She can be found on-line at feminine-genius.com.

As Simple as That

I am pleased to welcome Mary Ellen Barrett to "Catholic Moms Talk" today. Mary Ellen is a mother of eight children and wife to her husband, David. She is a writer, speaker, homeschooling mom and picker up of Legos in Lindenhurst, New York.

Mary Ellen is a columnist for The Long Island Catholic as well as an editorial advisor for Mater et Magistra Magazine. She chronicles the journey of living a faithful, but imperfect, always trying to be better, Catholic family life on her blog: Tales From the Bonny Blue House (www.maryellenbarrett.com). Mary Ellen also blogs about the dangers of the occult and the New Age at www.amazingcatechists.com.

As Simple as That

I need to let you in on a little secret.  I married a heathen.  Not a total heathen since he was baptized as an infant but my husband was raised having received no other sacraments or any religious instruction at all. David’s father was a fallen away Catholic who baptized his first child in deference to his own mother and his mom was raised Jewish and only kept the more cultural customs rather than any religious worship.

His not being Catholic never concerned me, which was odd since he was the first non-Catholic I had ever seriously dated. The thing was, my mom and dad liked him, a rarity in my dating life up till that time.  As they began to know David, my parents were giddy with happiness that I finally brought home a man who, in my father’s words, “wasn’t completely useless.”

That aside, David was completely supportive of my faith and often came to church with me. As soon as my mother heard this she declared him full of potential and gave me her full blessing.  All this, I want you to know while the poor man had no idea we were planning the rest of his life for him. When he did make the connection that we were made for each other my parents were thrilled to welcome him to the family and my mom immediately began a relentless and hidden rosary campaign for his conversion.

When we discussed having children David mentioned that he would like two. I turned my brown eyes on him and said, “I’ve always wanted a large family.”  “Ok,” he replied, “three would be good.” I smiled and bowed to his wisdom.

We had eight. Through that openness to life that desire to fulfill my desire for a family his heart gave over to love. Love of family and love of God.  It was complicated and yet simple. He loved me, so he loved our children and he came to realize that love was reflective of the love of God for us all.

With every baby, immediately after giving birth, my first thought would be that I could not wait to do this again. As Pope John Paul II said, “In the newborn child is realized the common good of the family.”  Every baby has brought good to my family in ever increasing ways as well as a stronger realization that the work of motherhood was holy work. Eternal work.

Yes, I was often tired and overwhelmed, who isn’t? However, I just loved and still love being a mom. Turns out, my husband loved being a dad and once we made the decision to allow our fertility and family be dictated by God amazing things began to happen the biggest being that Dave had a strong desire to complete his Baptism and receive the other sacraments of initiation. Another blessing is that our marriage flourished and we became truly one flesh in every way. Every baby that we were blessed to receive solidified our commitment to each other and to our faith.

It’s not been easy, and the struggles continue but through the mothering of this little brood I truly believe that I can change the world. Mother Teresa said, “The woman is at the heart of the home. Let us pray that we women realize the reason for our existence: to love and be loved and through this love become instruments of peace in the world.” So this is my mission field, to be an instrument of peace in this little corner of Long Island that we occupy. To change the world through the raising of soldiers of Christ and sending them off to evangelize simply by the way they live and love. Changing the world on load of laundry, one potty training session, one recited alphabet at a time. It doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that.

My Children are the Heart of God Himself

I am pleased to welcome Kate Wicker to "Catholic Moms Talk" today. Kate shares a special story with us today. I suspect many moms will relate to her reflection. Kate Wicker is a wife, mom of four littles, speaker, and the author of Weightless: Making Peace with Your Body. When she's not attempting to keep her home one step ahead of a health hazard, she is a regular voice on Relevant Radio and a health columnist for Catholic Digest. Visit KateWicker.com for more information.

My Children are the Heart of God Himself

Several springs ago when my brood numbered three littles rather than four, I made the spontaneous decision - to strap the older girls into the double stroller and to tuck the baby in the Ergo and head outdoors for an evening walk. The girls were already in their pajamas and thought it was a great adventure.

For me, it was therapy.

The sky was bruised with clouds. It looked like a rain was on its way, and I hoped I might be able to drive out the hurt and the dull ache in my heart by physically pushing it out before the sky broke apart.

My older girls were quiet at first. A breeze cut across them, and I watched my two-year-old’s uneven wisps of blond air take flight in the wind. Back at home, a golden pile of my child’s hair sat on my dresser, evidence of an unfortunate encounter with scissors that went down while I had been nursing the baby to sleep for a nap. Those strands of hair were the straw that broke my back - and my patience.

Pushing the stroller ahead, I tried to keep from crying. It had been a day of too many tears - from the older girls who were stressed about an upcoming move, from a sick baby, and from a tired mom.

As I walked, I had trouble keeping my head where my feet were. My mind raced ahead to the future and how my actions from this day might affect my relationship with my daughters down the road. That image of me - the wonderful mom who is always gentle and never raises her voice - dissolved in the silent tears that began to track down my face.

We approached a patch of green where on solo walks I’d been known to see a rabbit hopping about. This is where I made my deal with God. I whispered to Him in my heart so my children could not hear. Let there be a bunny rabbit. Please give them that. Give me that.

I said to the girls, “Keep your eyes peeled. This is where I sometimes see bunny rabbits. And keep quiet, too. We don’t want to scare them away.”

The girls leaned out of the stroller, silent and seeking out a flash of fur in the maze of thick, green vegetation. My eyes strained, praying for my rabbit to appear.

But there was nothing. I experienced a childish anger toward God. Where’s my rabbit? Where’s my children’s little piece of happiness? Where’s my sign that you love me, forgive me, and are a real, breathing presence in my life?

I was about to mumble an apology to my girls about the dearth of cute, furry things (there had been as many apologies as tears that day), but my oldest daughter said something first.

“Mommy! I think I saw a rabbit. Really. I saw some white ears poking out.”

“Where?” I asked.

“Over there,” she pointed to a patch of vegetation we’d already cruised past. “When we turn back around, we’ll check to see if the rabbit’s still there.”

Of course, there was nothing there when we passed by the same place. To me, this was a corroboratory fact that it was only a mirage conjured up by the wishful thinking of a child. But to my daughter, it was proof. “It definitely was a rabbit,” she said, “because it’s not there anymore. It must have hopped away when it saw us.”

When we returned home, my girls commented on what a nice walk it was, especially because we “almost probably for sure saw a bunny rabbit.”

I flushed with pleasure. My regrets from the day seemed to soften with the sky that was no longer an ominous gray but a peachy pink.

My then five-year-old had a fractured ulna and radius acquired from a fall at the playground. The bones had already began to heal, the orthopedic surgeon had reported at her most recent appointment. Her fingers that had escaped the prison of her big, blue cast were still slightly puffy from the swelling, but she wielded her arm as she always had. She is resilient. Her bones are malleable. Her body is quick to heal.

And, thank God, so is her heart.

I’m tempted to see my maternal missteps as global pronouncements of my failure to nurture my children right. But my children see no such thing. They forgive and they forget. Their mercy  pours down on me like the spring rain that came later that same week that we had gone looking for rabbits. I hate when my raw edges are exposed and I fall short of the mother I want to be, the mother I am called to be. But it’s my children who smooth out those edges by their very love for imperfect me and their knack at seeing things - good, hopeful things - that I don’t.

While I’m busy looking for a sign from God that He loves and forgives me, my children are the heart of God Himself loving and forgiving me without me even asking for it.

Where I see everything I do wrong as a mother, they notice a lot of the things I do right - like taking them on walks at dusk in their pajamas to look for rabbits.

Where I see only wild grass, they see the rabbits.

Visit KateWicker.com for more information.