Moving Closer To The Crib

Moving Closer To The Crib During a Season of Struggles and Great Hope

We read in the Catechism, “When the Church celebrates the liturgy of Advent each year, she makes present [the] ancient expectancy of the Messiah, for by sharing in the long preparation for the Savior’s first coming, the faithful renew their ardent desire for His second coming (CCC, 524).”

Just recently, in his Dec. 2^nd Angelus at St. Peter’s Square, Pope Benedict reminded us of our responsibilities as a Christian witness during this time of year. He said, “Amid the turmoil of the world, or the deserts of indifference and materialism, Christians accept salvation from God and witness with a different way of life, like a city set on a hill.”

Pope Benedict also told us that we are “a sign of the love of God, his justice that is present in the history but that is not yet fully realized, and that we must therefore always be waiting and seeking it with courage and patience.”

Advent is one of the most beautiful seasons in our Liturgical year. It’s a season of joyful expectation – all about reflecting on our faith and pausing to prepare our hearts to greet the Christ Child, and even preparing for entering our Eternal reward and looking forward to Jesus coming in His full glory one day. It is indeed a distinctive period filled with the amazing graces awaiting us – pregnant with wondrous hope!

Sometimes, though, the hype from the secular culture, which seems to scream at us at every turn, can be downright discouraging. Trying to find the necessary silence required to immerse our hearts into prayer at this time of year can be extra challenging. As well, we might be feeling overwhelmed thinking about our responsibilities to “put on a great Christmas” or to accomplish everything we feel compelled to do and maybe feeling tempted to pull off some sort of unobtainable level of perfection regarding our shopping, decorating, baking or whatever.

Our to-do list seems endless and we usually inadvertently add to it: the cookie baking, pageant watching, Christmas card writing, cleaning and scrubbing every corner of the house for the holidays, getting the tree, decorating, holiday parties to attend, the meal preparations and food shopping. Oh! Did I mention Christmas shopping?

The Advent season can get utterly lost in our busyness and the culture’s craziness. Perhaps, instead of lamenting about the fact that we feel so bombarded and stretched while facing that lack of time dilemma to truly participate in Advent, let’s instead do something different. How about attempting to change our attitudes (how about practicing the virtues?) and tweak our schedules a bit to weave in extra prayer and meditation on the marvelous events that mark the Advent season?

Advent Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated 

Try to take the unnecessary pressures off of yourself. You don’t need to strive for Norman Rockwell picture perfect – seriously!

Along these lines, in my newest book, Rooted in Love: Our Calling as Catholic Women, I said:

I think that we women can become our own worst enemy by worrying that we’re not doing enough to please others and God, too. We actually heap more responsibilities (whether they be actual or emotional) than is necessary upon our own shoulders. We deal with so many demands for perfection in our lives. Many of the saints spoke about how a whole lot of us might never do very big things in life (or what some might consider “big” things). But we can lead simple yet faithful lives by doing small things with great love. This is very pleasing to God and is actually the secret to real holiness as both St. Therese of Lisieux and Blessed Teresa of Calcutta preached. And, yes, God calls all of us to become saints.

Perhaps the irony is that, as many women struggle with the demands of our society and the mass media to become “perfect,” achieving perfection is simply being faithful to the duties of our lives. God looks at perfection much differently than do we.

I think of the holy simplicity of tiny baby Jesus making His entrance into the world very quietly in Bethlehem in a cold cave in the dark of the night, warmed by the breath of animals and His loving Mother’s tender embrace.

I ponder the humility, obedience, and holy love of Mother Mary, a faithful young Jewish teen of Nazareth in Galilee who had prayed with her people for the coming of the Messiah and perhaps for half a second found it difficult to grasp that she was the simple virgin chosen by God to bring about the birth of our Savior.

When the Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary delivering the life-transforming message, Mary took the blessing straight away to her heart and offered her whole being to God – her Fiat. “Here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Through her selfless Fiat, Mary was immediately collaborating with the entire work of what Jesus would accomplish.

As we know, the angel Gabriel also informed Mary that her elderly cousin Elizabeth was pregnant with John the Baptist. Rather than worry about her own pregnancy discomforts, Mary focused on the service of another by running in haste to help Elizabeth for the remainder of her pregnancy.

Blessed Mother Teresa spoke about our Blessed Mother’s generous heart in lovingly serving Elizabeth. She said,“The wonderful tenderness of a woman’s heart: to be aware of the sufferings of others and to try to spare them that suffering, as Mary did. Do you and I have that same tenderness in our hearts? Do we have Mary’s eyes for discovering the needs of others?”

No matter how much we may try to run and hide from the seasonal chaos, we should remember that Advent is indeed a season of hope and expectation for the most wonderful GIFT of all, given to us by our loving God. There’s no need to go into hibernation mode to avoid the crowds at the malls or the advertizing frenzy on the TV and radio. Unless we live the life of a hermit, we are meant to associate with others – within our families and when we are out and about in our community. Amazing transformations can occur within our encounters and exchanges when we allow God in.

Perhaps we can all take some time in the coming days to ponder how God might be calling us to “run in haste” to aid someone. Could it be our spouse, our child, our relative, our fellow religious, our co-worker, or our lonely neighbor?

Reaching Out Beyond Our Comfort Zone

Reaching out to those in need around us can be accomplished in the seemingly tiniest of ways – a smile, a friendly word (even when it might be difficult to do so!) and in greater deeds too, like helping our elderly neighbor decorate for Christmas or bringing a hot meal to a shut-in and visiting for a while. When the phone rings or a message comes in through your social media from someone requesting your advice, perhaps you can consider it to be an opportunity to serve with Christ’s love even when you are so busy. Time is a precious gift, often tough to part with in these jam-packed days. But, the rewards are great indeed for everyone involved.

You can perhaps discuss with your spouse, family, or parish group possible ways in which you can make a loving difference in someone’s life this Advent season. In addition to your gesture being warm and lovely, the act becomes a Christian example, a form of evangelization.

In my new book, Rooted in Love: Our Calling as Catholic Women I talk a lot about the necessity of prayer in our lives and I express that I wholeheartedly believe that one of the most important prayers is our Morning Offering in which we offer our prayers, works, joys, and sufferings to our Lord first thing in the morning on our knees right by the side of our bed. I said:

The great thing about the morning offering is that you are surrendering everything over to God as you start your day. In this way, you are giving him complete control – handing him the reins. By doing so, you in essence are freeing yourself of worrying about how things will unfold throughout the day. All of the challenges, craziness, joys, and everything that presents itself will be enveloped in a trusting prayer to God. He will be with you and help you in every detail of your day. It’s a simple prayer requiring very little time and effort, but when sincerely and lovingly presented to God, it will guarantee that your life that day is shrouded in his infinite grace and love – no matter what happens!

Yes, schedule those essential times of personal and family prayer. But, be mindful too, that simply living out our vocations in life as faithfully as we can is in reality a prayer too. Everything that happens and each person we encounter is an extraordinary opportunity for grace. The outcome of every experience depends upon our attitude and our responses to each circumstance.

This awareness can perhaps offer us another way to view little hardships, inconveniences, and greater trials we may experience too, as well as the encounters of grumpy demeanors, or people with short fuses, “parking lot rage,” and the various needs of others in our midst.

Let’s pray for the courage and patience that our Holy Father Pope Benedict encouraged us to use during this Advent time of seeking and waiting. The world looks to us as that “city set on a hill.” Will we say “Yes” to God even when we are being challenged? Can we even pray for the people who harass us or irritate us in some way?

I’m reminded of the guy who gave me the finger in the grocery store parking lot. In return, I waved a friendly “hello” to him and then prayed a decade of the Rosary for him as I drove away. As Mother Teresa would say, that person is“Jesus in the distressing disguise of the poorest of the poor.” Maybe there’s no one else in his life at this time who would take the time to pray for him. Perhaps God put me in his life to gift him with prayer.

Let’s ask ourselves, “Do we have Mary’s tenderness of heart and her eyes for discovering the needs of others?” Can we “renew our ardent desire” each time we utter “Yes” to our Lord in all He asks of us this season of hope?

Here I am Lord

Dear Lord, Jesus, please open my heart more fully during this Advent season and please nourish my heart and soul with Your abiding love and comfort. Help me to feel Your miraculous peace at a time when I feel stretched to keep up with all I need to do and while I struggle with what the world beckons me to accomplish. I am continually bombarded with messages from a lopsided culture and the ever-present advertising frenzy all around me and I wish to keep my eyes on You. 

Show me the way to strike a healthy balance regarding preparing for the Christmas holiday and preparing my heart to welcome You more completely. Please continue to enkindle the holy flame of Your love which You have placed in my heart so that I might become a radiant beacon of Faith to all I meet this Advent season and beyond. 

I pray that every person I encounter will feel Your holy presence in my soul. I humbly offer this prayer to Your most Sacred Heart, dear Lord Jesus. I trust in You. Amen.

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You can see this article at: http://www.integratedcatholiclife.org/2012/12/donna-marie-cooper-oboyle-moving-closer-to-the-crib/

Hark, a Herald Voice Is Calling...

I am thrilled to welcome Johnnette S. Benkovic to "Catholic Moms Talk" today. Johnnette is the Founder and President of Women of Grace®, a Catholic apostolate for women featuring a number of outreaches including conferences, media, study groups and more. She is also Founder and President of Living His Life Abundantly® International, Inc. (a 501(c) 3 not-for-profit corporation). After years of being a non-practicing Catholic, in 1981 Johnnette experienced a deep conversion back to her Catholic faith. Her conversion sparked a new vocation: that is, one of sharing the Gospel message through the utilization of media. She has been an inspiring and consistent presence on Catholic radio (1987) and in Catholic television (1988) ever since. You can find Johnnette here: www.womenofgrace.com

Johnnette is the Executive Producer of the Women of Grace® television program, a program highlighting contemporary issues from a Catholic perspective which also discusses authentic femininity™ in the world today. She is also host of Women of Grace® Live, a call-in radio talk show airing five times a week. She is heard nationally on AM/FM stations, Sirius Satellite 160, and internationally via short wave radio.

In addition, Johnnette is a popular conference speaker, published author, retreat director, and seminar presenter. She is the author of several books including Full of Grace: Women and the Abundant Life, Grace-Filled Moments, Living Life Abundantly: Stories of People Who Have Encountered God, Experience Grace in Abundance: Ten Strategies For Your Spiritual Life and The New Age Counterfeit. She also developed the internationally recognized Women of Grace® Foundational Study Series which has transformed thousands of women worldwide through the healing love of Jesus Christ.

On the personal side, Johnnette lost her son Simon in a tragic vehicular accident, just after he returned from Iraq as a decorated soldier. Soon after Simon’s death, she lost her beloved husband of more than thirty three years, Anthony, to terminal brain cancer. Through these tragedies, Johnnette was strengthened by her faith, family, friends and the prayers of the many wonderful supporters of Living His Life Abundantly® and Women of Grace®. Family life is very important to her. She enjoys time with her daughters, grandchildren, extended family and friends.

Hark, a Herald Voice Is Calling

Hark, a herald voice is calling;

                                

“Christ is nigh,” it seems to say;

“Cast away the dreams of darkness,

O ye children of the day.”

Lo, the Lamb, so long expected,

Comes with pardon down from heaven;

Let us haste with tears of sorrow,

One and all to be forgiven.

                                               Roman Breviary,

                             Hymn En clara vox redarguit at Lauds

For Reflection: 

Advent is a time to watch, wait, and make preparation. How do I see all three of these reflected in the above hymn? How am I employing these in my life as I begin this Advent season?

Come back to visit "Catholic Moms Talk" tomorrow for another (longer) Advent Reflection by Johnnette.

Find Johnnette here: www.womenofgrace.com                                           

Affairs of the Heart

I am very happy to welcome Genevieve Kineke to "Catholic Moms Talk" today. Genevieve is a wife, mother of five, and convert to the faith. Her latest book is Set Free: The Authentic Catholic Woman's Guide to Forgiveness (Servant Books). She can be found online at feminine-genius.com.

“Affairs of the Heart”

There is a common question that asks if there are more stars in the sky or grains of sand on the earth. Such distractions can be amusing, not only for the sake of comparisons, but also to remind us of the vastness of the universe. Our Lord is immense, indeed.^*

While God is creator of those things too big to contemplate, he is also the one who counts the hairs on our confused heads, showing that he is also the master of every detail (cf. Luke 12:7). From galaxies to dust particles, he has it all in hand. But what is that to a busy mother?

I recently came across a detail that leapt out at me—a minute element of life that we can all understand in a portion of the private revelation Jesus gave to Saint Faustina:

“Tell sinners that I am always waiting for them, that I listen intently to the beating of their heart… When will it beat for Me?” (Diary, 1728). 

Heartbeats! Now we've delved into a woman's world—the universe of love and affection, of mood and inclination. While the number of hairs on our heads is academic—quite superfluous to our vocation—the pulse of those around us is the very thing we monitor in various ways.

Surely, we know who once made our hearts leap, and perhaps we've been privileged to make a life with them at our side. Our children often bring about those pitty-pats of joy and delight as well. But there are other jolts that are more ominous—an unexpected email, a phone call relating a medical emergency, or the face of a friend that signals crisis. 

What brings this reflection together, though, is the arrival of Advent which has a life of its own—a life that is wrapped in memories, family events, and acts of piety. There are the meals, the gifts, the cards, the gatherings. There are the pageants and the concerts, the plays and the recitals, and amidst it all we pray. We internalize all of these dutiful actions scattered along the path to Christmas, and see our participation in each as an extension of our love for others.

But when we make this journey towards the Crib, what does Our Lord read in our heartbeats? Do we realize that he is close enough to monitor our very pulse from second to second? In assessing our calm (or anxiety!) he knows what our priorities are. He senses our anticipation, our frustration, even the occasional wave of dread—but over what? Is the elevated pressure a measure of our longing for Christ, or a response to the peer pressure to keep up appearances? When our hearts skip a beat, is it over neglecting Christ, or due to impending responsibilities? Do we fuss about mundane details or about those occasions that reveal our lack of love? Does our heart race for him and his intentions, or merely concerning the frivolities of our own making? 

Picture, if you will, the unborn Lord living beneath the heart of Mary, which beat steadily in confidence and love. Her priorities were his, her anxiety felt only on his behalf, her anticipation lay in embracing him alone. Their hearts beat in unison, the Immaculate one depending on that which was Sacred, hers having been spared by the piercing of his. 

Follow your heart, in the coming weeks, but not in the worldly sense. Attend to what agitates it, what excites it, and what it fears—so that you'll know what Christ already knows. There is so much that we do that is oriented toward him and his splendid nativity, but not all. That which still tarries in the world must be laid at his feet so that it can be purified. When your heart finally beats for him, you will truly be his—and all will be well. 

Mrs. Kineke is a married mother of five. She can be found on-line at feminine-genius.com.

Who's Teaching Whom?

I am pleased to welcome Judy Dudich to "Catholic Moms Talk" as a quest blogger today. Judy is the author of I Surrender, the study guide for women seeking Christ as the center of their daily lives. She is owner of Homeschool Faith and Family Life: the website that uplifts, encourages, and supports you in your daily family life journey. 

With her husband Tom, Judy is  blessed with ten children and four grand-children and each day enjoys learning along-side the eight kids who are still at home with them. She writes a regular column on several websites, including : FAR Above Rubies and CatholicMom.com. Judy's online radio show, Mothers at Home, is enjoyed on Blog Talk Radio. You can find all links to Judy's blogs, websites, books, and social networks by visiting judydudich.weebly.com

Who's Teaching Whom?

I recently  read a quote which aptly describes my mothering-heart. The author was listed as, "Anonymous" ("Anonymous" has become one of my most favorite authors, through the years!). 

"I have been busy teaching my children all about life. They have been busy, teaching me what life is all about." 

As a Catholic, homeschooling mother of ten and "Grammy" to four, I could be offered as a living testament to the truth of this statement. Often, I ask my darlings, "Who's teaching whom, here?" 

In fact, that's one of the greatest blessings God has brought to me through our homeschooling and family life journey; the opportunity to learn along-side and "from" my children. 

Pope Benedict XVI has proclaimed a "Year of Faith" for our One, Holy, and Apostolic Church. Truly, this couldn't have come at a more appropriate, pertinent, and needed time. (Which is why he's the Pope, right?) 

As I ponder this title and reflect and pray about ways that I can live out the Holy Father's commission to us, I am repeatedly drawn to thoughts of my children; and, the anonymous quote, above. 

I can teach my children the catechism. Of course, I am instructed by the Catechism to teach my children the Catechism.  This Catholic text tells me that, as a Catholic wife and mother, 

I am the first and foremost educator in the lives of my children. Further, that I am obligated to provide a truly Catholic education for each and all of them.  I, like other parents the-world-over, try my best to do just that. 

However, through it all, during it all, in the lessons, after the lessons, in conjunction with the lessons, it is I who am being taught...by them. 

This "Year of Faith" is to be lived. It is to be celebrated. It is to be shared. We are being called forth to study, to know and try our best to understand our beautiful, timeless, and lasting Catholic Faith. 

The current state of political affairs, family life (and the attack on it), faith life (or, lack of it) and day-to- day issues that the average American is dealing with, tells me that the time has come for us, as Catholics to be "real", "authentic", and "courageous" (not to mention "steadfast", "zealous", and "loyal") in our Faith.  

Two of my children are grown, married, and raising families of their own. Eight, are still at home with my husband and me. I look at them, and I can't help but think of Saint Francis of Assisi, who said, "Preach the Gospel, and, if necessary, use words."

My children would not be described, in most circles, as "outspoken". They are, indeed, comfortable speaking to others; though none really goes out of his/her way to "take the stage" so-to-speak, when it comes to espousing matters of the Faith to the general public. They know their Faith, they adhere to the Teachings of the Catholic Church, and they are pretty good at "Apologetics," when confronted or approached by someone trying to "trip them up" or "put them on the spot."

In the spirit of the teaching of Saint Francis, however, it moves me to tears, fills my heart with joy, and, mostly, humbles me, to observe my children "preaching the Gospel" in the way they live their lives; each and every day. 

Christ is alive in the youth of our world, today. I see Him, in my children. The "Year of Faith" is being brought to life. I see it in my children. 

I see it when I walk into a room and find one of my older kids helping his/her little brother or sister to memorize the Ten Commandments.  

I see it when there is a new face in the crowd of our parish and I watch my teens go up to that person, after Mass, to welcome them and shake their hand. 

I see it when I watch them bow their head and offer a heartfelt intention, at the beginning of our family rosary, for a friend in need, for the unborn; even for our president. 

I see it when they do something wrong, and quietly come to me, in private, to speak truth and apologize. 

I see it when they have the courage to change the radio station, in front of their friends, when an inappropriate song is being played.  

I see it when they take bags of sandwiches to the homeless, in the park.  

I see it when they go with my husband and friends to serve the residents at Mother Teresa's House in Washington, DC. 

I see it, each month, when my teens give their free time; as they've done for the last four years, to serve and work at our local food pantry; helping those in need in our community.  

This "Year of Faith" is alive and well in my children. And, they are teaching me "all about life." 

I saw it, when our pastor announced that he was going to walk 100 miles to witness for the Catholic Church: as a  penance, in reparation for our sins, as a quiet testimony against the unjust laws, taking away religious freedom in our nation, and as a way to be seen, in this"Year of Faith" so as to draw others to Christ and win souls for His Glory; and my teens immediately said, "YES! WE WILL JOIN YOU WE WILL WALK 100 MILES FOR THE CATHOLIC FAITH AND FREEDOM!" 

It was summer time. It was scorching-hot outside. It was their vacation time from school; their "free" time. And, they gave it to the Church. They gave it to God. They gave it to their fellow man. They suffered blisters. They missed their family for the eight days it took to get to the Basilica, in Baltimore, MD. They climbed mountains. They slept on hard floors. They were frightened, walking on the edges of highways, with tractor trailers blowing past them at 65 miles an hour. Yet, they never complained. Not once. They never whined. They (and the other awesome teens who were with them) went without much sleep, without showers, without bathrooms and more...because they believe in this "Year of Faith." They believe in their Church. They believe in their country. They believe in freedom.  

I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a teacher. I am a woman of God. I own my own website. I'm a published author. I'm an online speaker and radio show host.  

And, yet, in this proclaimed "Year of Faith," I am a humble student, at the feet of my children; for, like Saint Francis, they are, indeed, preaching the Gospel, by living their lives. 

Our hope lies in Christ Jesus. And, He makes Himself known to us through others. I give thanks for the Youth of America. They are on-fire with love for the Holy Spirit and they want to live their Catholic Faith, in-full; not partially, not cafeteria-style, but, completely, consistently, and joyfully. They are the future of our nation. They are the vessels that God will use to share His love with the world. 

It doesn't matter what is happening in the White House, as much as it matters what is happening in our own houses.  

"I am busy teaching my children all about  life. They are busy teaching me what life is all about."

As Simple as That

I am pleased to welcome Mary Ellen Barrett to "Catholic Moms Talk" today. Mary Ellen is a mother of eight children and wife to her husband, David. She is a writer, speaker, homeschooling mom and picker up of Legos in Lindenhurst, New York.

Mary Ellen is a columnist for The Long Island Catholic as well as an editorial advisor for Mater et Magistra Magazine. She chronicles the journey of living a faithful, but imperfect, always trying to be better, Catholic family life on her blog: Tales From the Bonny Blue House (www.maryellenbarrett.com). Mary Ellen also blogs about the dangers of the occult and the New Age at www.amazingcatechists.com.

As Simple as That

I need to let you in on a little secret.  I married a heathen.  Not a total heathen since he was baptized as an infant but my husband was raised having received no other sacraments or any religious instruction at all. David’s father was a fallen away Catholic who baptized his first child in deference to his own mother and his mom was raised Jewish and only kept the more cultural customs rather than any religious worship.

His not being Catholic never concerned me, which was odd since he was the first non-Catholic I had ever seriously dated. The thing was, my mom and dad liked him, a rarity in my dating life up till that time.  As they began to know David, my parents were giddy with happiness that I finally brought home a man who, in my father’s words, “wasn’t completely useless.”

That aside, David was completely supportive of my faith and often came to church with me. As soon as my mother heard this she declared him full of potential and gave me her full blessing.  All this, I want you to know while the poor man had no idea we were planning the rest of his life for him. When he did make the connection that we were made for each other my parents were thrilled to welcome him to the family and my mom immediately began a relentless and hidden rosary campaign for his conversion.

When we discussed having children David mentioned that he would like two. I turned my brown eyes on him and said, “I’ve always wanted a large family.”  “Ok,” he replied, “three would be good.” I smiled and bowed to his wisdom.

We had eight. Through that openness to life that desire to fulfill my desire for a family his heart gave over to love. Love of family and love of God.  It was complicated and yet simple. He loved me, so he loved our children and he came to realize that love was reflective of the love of God for us all.

With every baby, immediately after giving birth, my first thought would be that I could not wait to do this again. As Pope John Paul II said, “In the newborn child is realized the common good of the family.”  Every baby has brought good to my family in ever increasing ways as well as a stronger realization that the work of motherhood was holy work. Eternal work.

Yes, I was often tired and overwhelmed, who isn’t? However, I just loved and still love being a mom. Turns out, my husband loved being a dad and once we made the decision to allow our fertility and family be dictated by God amazing things began to happen the biggest being that Dave had a strong desire to complete his Baptism and receive the other sacraments of initiation. Another blessing is that our marriage flourished and we became truly one flesh in every way. Every baby that we were blessed to receive solidified our commitment to each other and to our faith.

It’s not been easy, and the struggles continue but through the mothering of this little brood I truly believe that I can change the world. Mother Teresa said, “The woman is at the heart of the home. Let us pray that we women realize the reason for our existence: to love and be loved and through this love become instruments of peace in the world.” So this is my mission field, to be an instrument of peace in this little corner of Long Island that we occupy. To change the world through the raising of soldiers of Christ and sending them off to evangelize simply by the way they live and love. Changing the world on load of laundry, one potty training session, one recited alphabet at a time. It doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that.