When Weakness Becomes Our Strength

I am happy to welcome, our guest blogger, Allison Gingras who is a Catholic writer and inspirational speaker. She founded Reconciled To You ministries in 2009, which seeks to awaken our response to God's abounding gift of grace by cultivating a Sacramental life. Allison is currently producing women’s events on topics of Forgiveness and Trust. She is very excited about her upcoming event, “A Taste of God’s Grace” in Danbury, CT on June 22, 2013. Allison's book: "Three Persons, One God: Growing in Relationship with Father, Son and Holy Spirit" encourages the reader to reconcile their idea of God, with that which is taught us in Scripture and Tradition.  She also contributes a bi-weekly column to TechTalk on Catholicmom.com - reviewing Android Apps and Technologies as they relate to the Catholic Faith. 

When Weakness Become Our Strength

As a mother, I make a lot of mistakes. It is probably what I do the most of, and am the best at.

While that may seem a negative assessment of one’s motherhood, I consider it a fair and accurate evaluation.   I see it as a frame of mind that keeps me humble, honest and always trying to improve. I am far from a failure as a mom, as I am blessed with three children who still do most of what is asked of them, come to me for advice, and participate in our Catholic faith without bribery or threats. However, I know that this admittance of my weaknesses and natural tendencies to get lazy in some area of discipline and parental involvement, are in truth my strengths. In order to keep improving as a parent, I must first admit that there is always room for learning and growing in my vocation.

Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12:10

     In this Year of Faith, I am taking my attitude toward parenting and applying it to my vocation as a Christian Catholic. Over the many years of practicing my Catholic faith, I have made many mistakes.  Practice, does not, as they say, always make perfect.  I’ve had phases of being lazy at spiritual things, and doing the bare minimums – or less.  I’ve had phases of excuse making about why I was not attending Mass regularly, was avoiding confession, and even giving up on praying.   Then the pendulum would swing, and I would experience times of arrogance of faith, sure that I had overcome all earthly bonds, emerging from the confessional booth to become -- (*you’ll have to add your own super hero theme music here for effect) – Super Catholic!  Scripture warns against being a lukewarm follower, as well as speaks of the dangers of self-righteousness.   

     To grow in skill as a parent, I have a many options. I can talk to more experienced moms about lessons they have learned in their own journeys of motherhood. I can pick up reading on proper parenting – such as magazines and books. I can hit cyberspace for advice, instruction, or just plain old fashioned camaraderie. Additionally, I can take my concerns, fears and present state of motherhood to God – seeking His grace, guidance and blessing, knowing His promise to never abandon or forsake me. Yet to make any true changes, I must first admit where I weak, so that I know what information I am looking for, what questions I need answered, and most importantly, what areas I need to change.  If I am not willing or able to admit weakness, then I will not be open to accepting guidance and I will remain stuck where I am as a parent, which for me would have meant being stuck forever with a non-sleeping, tantrum throwing, unpotty-trained child (or 2)!

     To grow as a Catholic, I have to my surprise, the same options.  I can talk to more experienced women (or men) of faith, and learn from their spiritual journeys. I can open up the Bible,the  Catechism, or any number of wonderful Catholic books available to enlighten and teach me. In addition, a plethora of wonderful magazine and newspapers are available to aid in education of the faith.  

     Cyberspace provides many fantastic resources for faith discovery – however, just as when someone uses it as a Pediatrician, the Internet as a Spiritual Director, requires prudence and common sense.  Nevertheless, I cannot help but marvel at how God has allowed the World Wide Web, in particular social media, to bring His Church together. As we continue to experience a decline in the number of Catholics living their faith, being able to connect with those who do, will become increasingly important.  

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” Deut 31:6

     Always, I can turn to God, seeking His grace, guidance and blessing--knowing His promise to never abandon or forsake me. If I can humble myself before God, admitting the areas of my spiritual life that are lacking, then I am open to receive the graces God has for me to fill those holes.  If I am not willing or able to admit weakness, I will not be open to accept God’s loving, merciful and gentle direction and I will remain stuck where I am, which for me would mean being stuck forever as a lukewarm, tantrum throwing, untrained in my faith adult!

  

Who's in charge when a Pope leaves his post?

Who's in charge when a Pope leaves his post?

Catholic Mom's Cafe: Journeying Through Lent with the Family

Catholic Mom's Cafe: Journeying Through Lent with the Family: Our Church wisely gifts the faithful with a Liturgical calendar comprised of many seasons of grace in which to journey closer to heaven...

A New Year's Look at Mother's Work

I'm so happy to welcome Theresa Thomas as a guest to "Catholic Moms Talk" today. She shares "A New Year's Look at Mother's Work."

Last week, an ordinary mother not unlike you, in fact perhaps very much like you, went with one of her older children to Confession.

And when I say ‘one of her older children’ I actually mean ‘young adult’ because although the aforementioned person will always be his mother’s ‘little boy’, he is in his early twenties, lives many miles away and was only home on vacation, so he of course isn’t a child any more. And when I say ‘went with’ what I really mean is  ‘took’ because while this offspring of hers practices the faith of his childhood, he may quite possibly not have chosen to go to the sacrament that day, had the mother not said she was going and suggested that he tag along and that then they could stop for coffee afterwards. She is unsure about whether he needed this nudge or not but she is his mother and loves him fiercely and has a long history of risking nagging for the sake of the greater good. So she nudged.

This young adult, of course, is quite capable of managing his personal spiritual life, yet this mother still worries whether she is doing enough to support and encourage. You see she made a promise when the son was a newborn infant- a promise to help him grow in faith in every way she knows how, with all her strength until the day she dies. And she is not dead.

On that day she made that promise, she also begged God to watch over and protect this child morally, physically, emotionally, all the days of his life, and told God she will do whatever it takes – forever- to cooperate for this intention and help accomplish this. When she invited this son to Confession despite the fact that she had gone less than a week before, she was delighted that he had accepted.

Now, the mother and son are standing in line for Confession together:  

The wait is long and the line is slow and the mother is secretly worried that her son will want to leave because the wait is long and the line is slow and he is quick-thinking, quick-deciding and not unlike her, somewhat impatient. In fact, after awhile, the mother herself wants to leave because the wait is long and the line is slow.

But she doesn’t.

They stay.

As the mother stands there waiting with her son (her own impatience growing, now she has something more to confess), she catches a glimpse of the exposed Blessed Sacrament, there on the altar, also waiting…for her. And suddenly, unexpectedly, something hits her like a roaring train on the tracks of an unsuspecting small town:

He is here.

She remembers and realizes the reality of Who is there and why He is there and the significance of Him- the Son- being there …while he – her son- is there, with her.

And she recognizes the opportunity present, and has a sudden urge of inspiration to re-dedicate this child to God and renew the plea for His protection of him.

Spontaneously, she whispers in a wave of emotion:

 Here he is, Lord. I brought him to You today. Pierce his heart and soul with Your Love. Give him Your grace and courage and peace and strength. Keep him close to You and help him now and always…whatever it takes from me…whatever it takes….

This mother prays these ending words whatever it takes not because she thinks that God is a punishing God who only bestows gifts only for a trade-off of pain but she prays these words because she knows He is a loving God who allows His creatures the privilege of participation, and she knows the the beauty and restorative power of redemptive suffering that occurs when one, even if just a mother, unites her suffering to His. She does not know what her son needs but she knows whatever it is, God will provide it and she offers her life –spiritual and physical- again for him.

Because God is a loving and merciful Father, the mother who helps bring forth the physical life through birth to her children- is granted too the opportunity, indeed daily is granted the opportunity, to also bring them in part, in a very small way, to the threshold of God and eternal life, mysteriously, through her cooperation and merits. She and her life can become vessels of grace again and again.

Clearly, quietly and firmly in this mother’s heart she hears an answer to her spur-of-the-moment prayer: YES.

Yes! It is distinct and profound and quiet, very still. And she feels the warmth and presence and sweetness from the altar, the dwelling place of Him and she feels her heart will burst in the significance and renewal of this moment.

Then a door closes and the mother looks up. Her son has entered the confessional. Moments later she does too.

In the days that follow, the mother contracts the flu, just as the abovementioned young adult child is about to depart on a plane back to his place of residence and work thousands of miles away. She does not hug him goodbye nor stand and look face-to-face into his eyes before he leaves, as she normally does, for fear of exposing him to her illness and fever. Instead, she stands in the door of the room, 15 feet away, as he turns with his duffle bag and she ‘air hugs’ him. He air-hugs her back. She will probably not see him for months, but she remembers that even little sacrifices like foregone hugs can contribute to the good of those she loves when she unites these actions with Christ.

The days that follow her son’s departure are full of daily mundane challenges- and the now familiar thought of noble redemptive suffering punctuates itself in another inconvenience, when this mother discovers her email has been hacked.  Hundreds of people have received messages about discounted Rolex watches from her account. And because this mother didn’t catch this hacking for several days (she has been sick and offline you know) her Twitter account has also been compromised, and shut down.  But she deals with these problems, as well as mountains of laundry that have amassed in her illness, patiently and carefully, not because it is in her nature, but because there is a higher reason and an intention for which to pray, and she knows that work and suffering can be prayer. There is an acceptance because there is a purpose.

When the jury selection order appears in her mailbox, on the heels of this trying week right when she is scheduled to resume homeschool with her youngest three children, and when she calls the bailiff to ask for a deferral until summer so she can meet her state’s 180 day education requirement, and when the bailiff is cold and indifferent to her plight and is in fact rude when she finds out the mother homeschools, and denies her request, the mother does not succumb to frustration in the least. Because of an encounter earlier that week, in fact, she smiles.

This mother, this ordinary mother not unlike you, in fact perhaps very much like you, thinks about the new month of January, full of promise and opportunity and new beginnings. She thinks about the sacrament of Confession and its opportunity and new beginning as well. She thinks of Him, and him, and her. And how they are all intertwined in love and sacrifice. She thinks of how acceptance can be a gift.

And this mother ponders the turn of events in the previous week, amazed at the God who allows not just her but all mothers the opportunity to be living gifts to their families. They--we are not just gifts in physical ways such as doing the laundry and preparing meals and kissing boo boos of young children. No, they--we can be gifts in large and significant ways, united-in-redemptive suffering ways, in leading-our-children-to-Christ ways. We can be gifts to our families in eternal ways by dedicating, praying, leading, suffering, accepting, and uniting in Christ what we do. The profound can indeed be quiet. The significant can be simple. And we need to remind one another of this, as ordinary mothers. The consequences of what we do can be everlasting. 

Theresa Thomas, Co-Author Stories for the Homeschool Heart (Bezalel Books, 2010 & winner of About.comBest Catholic Book of 2010)
Family Columnist Today's Catholic News
Contributing Writer Integrated Catholic Life

Watch for BIG HEARTED: Inspiring Stories from Everyday Families coming soon in 2013!

Moving Closer To The Crib

Moving Closer To The Crib During a Season of Struggles and Great Hope

We read in the Catechism, “When the Church celebrates the liturgy of Advent each year, she makes present [the] ancient expectancy of the Messiah, for by sharing in the long preparation for the Savior’s first coming, the faithful renew their ardent desire for His second coming (CCC, 524).”

Just recently, in his Dec. 2^nd Angelus at St. Peter’s Square, Pope Benedict reminded us of our responsibilities as a Christian witness during this time of year. He said, “Amid the turmoil of the world, or the deserts of indifference and materialism, Christians accept salvation from God and witness with a different way of life, like a city set on a hill.”

Pope Benedict also told us that we are “a sign of the love of God, his justice that is present in the history but that is not yet fully realized, and that we must therefore always be waiting and seeking it with courage and patience.”

Advent is one of the most beautiful seasons in our Liturgical year. It’s a season of joyful expectation – all about reflecting on our faith and pausing to prepare our hearts to greet the Christ Child, and even preparing for entering our Eternal reward and looking forward to Jesus coming in His full glory one day. It is indeed a distinctive period filled with the amazing graces awaiting us – pregnant with wondrous hope!

Sometimes, though, the hype from the secular culture, which seems to scream at us at every turn, can be downright discouraging. Trying to find the necessary silence required to immerse our hearts into prayer at this time of year can be extra challenging. As well, we might be feeling overwhelmed thinking about our responsibilities to “put on a great Christmas” or to accomplish everything we feel compelled to do and maybe feeling tempted to pull off some sort of unobtainable level of perfection regarding our shopping, decorating, baking or whatever.

Our to-do list seems endless and we usually inadvertently add to it: the cookie baking, pageant watching, Christmas card writing, cleaning and scrubbing every corner of the house for the holidays, getting the tree, decorating, holiday parties to attend, the meal preparations and food shopping. Oh! Did I mention Christmas shopping?

The Advent season can get utterly lost in our busyness and the culture’s craziness. Perhaps, instead of lamenting about the fact that we feel so bombarded and stretched while facing that lack of time dilemma to truly participate in Advent, let’s instead do something different. How about attempting to change our attitudes (how about practicing the virtues?) and tweak our schedules a bit to weave in extra prayer and meditation on the marvelous events that mark the Advent season?

Advent Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated 

Try to take the unnecessary pressures off of yourself. You don’t need to strive for Norman Rockwell picture perfect – seriously!

Along these lines, in my newest book, Rooted in Love: Our Calling as Catholic Women, I said:

I think that we women can become our own worst enemy by worrying that we’re not doing enough to please others and God, too. We actually heap more responsibilities (whether they be actual or emotional) than is necessary upon our own shoulders. We deal with so many demands for perfection in our lives. Many of the saints spoke about how a whole lot of us might never do very big things in life (or what some might consider “big” things). But we can lead simple yet faithful lives by doing small things with great love. This is very pleasing to God and is actually the secret to real holiness as both St. Therese of Lisieux and Blessed Teresa of Calcutta preached. And, yes, God calls all of us to become saints.

Perhaps the irony is that, as many women struggle with the demands of our society and the mass media to become “perfect,” achieving perfection is simply being faithful to the duties of our lives. God looks at perfection much differently than do we.

I think of the holy simplicity of tiny baby Jesus making His entrance into the world very quietly in Bethlehem in a cold cave in the dark of the night, warmed by the breath of animals and His loving Mother’s tender embrace.

I ponder the humility, obedience, and holy love of Mother Mary, a faithful young Jewish teen of Nazareth in Galilee who had prayed with her people for the coming of the Messiah and perhaps for half a second found it difficult to grasp that she was the simple virgin chosen by God to bring about the birth of our Savior.

When the Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary delivering the life-transforming message, Mary took the blessing straight away to her heart and offered her whole being to God – her Fiat. “Here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Through her selfless Fiat, Mary was immediately collaborating with the entire work of what Jesus would accomplish.

As we know, the angel Gabriel also informed Mary that her elderly cousin Elizabeth was pregnant with John the Baptist. Rather than worry about her own pregnancy discomforts, Mary focused on the service of another by running in haste to help Elizabeth for the remainder of her pregnancy.

Blessed Mother Teresa spoke about our Blessed Mother’s generous heart in lovingly serving Elizabeth. She said,“The wonderful tenderness of a woman’s heart: to be aware of the sufferings of others and to try to spare them that suffering, as Mary did. Do you and I have that same tenderness in our hearts? Do we have Mary’s eyes for discovering the needs of others?”

No matter how much we may try to run and hide from the seasonal chaos, we should remember that Advent is indeed a season of hope and expectation for the most wonderful GIFT of all, given to us by our loving God. There’s no need to go into hibernation mode to avoid the crowds at the malls or the advertizing frenzy on the TV and radio. Unless we live the life of a hermit, we are meant to associate with others – within our families and when we are out and about in our community. Amazing transformations can occur within our encounters and exchanges when we allow God in.

Perhaps we can all take some time in the coming days to ponder how God might be calling us to “run in haste” to aid someone. Could it be our spouse, our child, our relative, our fellow religious, our co-worker, or our lonely neighbor?

Reaching Out Beyond Our Comfort Zone

Reaching out to those in need around us can be accomplished in the seemingly tiniest of ways – a smile, a friendly word (even when it might be difficult to do so!) and in greater deeds too, like helping our elderly neighbor decorate for Christmas or bringing a hot meal to a shut-in and visiting for a while. When the phone rings or a message comes in through your social media from someone requesting your advice, perhaps you can consider it to be an opportunity to serve with Christ’s love even when you are so busy. Time is a precious gift, often tough to part with in these jam-packed days. But, the rewards are great indeed for everyone involved.

You can perhaps discuss with your spouse, family, or parish group possible ways in which you can make a loving difference in someone’s life this Advent season. In addition to your gesture being warm and lovely, the act becomes a Christian example, a form of evangelization.

In my new book, Rooted in Love: Our Calling as Catholic Women I talk a lot about the necessity of prayer in our lives and I express that I wholeheartedly believe that one of the most important prayers is our Morning Offering in which we offer our prayers, works, joys, and sufferings to our Lord first thing in the morning on our knees right by the side of our bed. I said:

The great thing about the morning offering is that you are surrendering everything over to God as you start your day. In this way, you are giving him complete control – handing him the reins. By doing so, you in essence are freeing yourself of worrying about how things will unfold throughout the day. All of the challenges, craziness, joys, and everything that presents itself will be enveloped in a trusting prayer to God. He will be with you and help you in every detail of your day. It’s a simple prayer requiring very little time and effort, but when sincerely and lovingly presented to God, it will guarantee that your life that day is shrouded in his infinite grace and love – no matter what happens!

Yes, schedule those essential times of personal and family prayer. But, be mindful too, that simply living out our vocations in life as faithfully as we can is in reality a prayer too. Everything that happens and each person we encounter is an extraordinary opportunity for grace. The outcome of every experience depends upon our attitude and our responses to each circumstance.

This awareness can perhaps offer us another way to view little hardships, inconveniences, and greater trials we may experience too, as well as the encounters of grumpy demeanors, or people with short fuses, “parking lot rage,” and the various needs of others in our midst.

Let’s pray for the courage and patience that our Holy Father Pope Benedict encouraged us to use during this Advent time of seeking and waiting. The world looks to us as that “city set on a hill.” Will we say “Yes” to God even when we are being challenged? Can we even pray for the people who harass us or irritate us in some way?

I’m reminded of the guy who gave me the finger in the grocery store parking lot. In return, I waved a friendly “hello” to him and then prayed a decade of the Rosary for him as I drove away. As Mother Teresa would say, that person is“Jesus in the distressing disguise of the poorest of the poor.” Maybe there’s no one else in his life at this time who would take the time to pray for him. Perhaps God put me in his life to gift him with prayer.

Let’s ask ourselves, “Do we have Mary’s tenderness of heart and her eyes for discovering the needs of others?” Can we “renew our ardent desire” each time we utter “Yes” to our Lord in all He asks of us this season of hope?

Here I am Lord

Dear Lord, Jesus, please open my heart more fully during this Advent season and please nourish my heart and soul with Your abiding love and comfort. Help me to feel Your miraculous peace at a time when I feel stretched to keep up with all I need to do and while I struggle with what the world beckons me to accomplish. I am continually bombarded with messages from a lopsided culture and the ever-present advertising frenzy all around me and I wish to keep my eyes on You. 

Show me the way to strike a healthy balance regarding preparing for the Christmas holiday and preparing my heart to welcome You more completely. Please continue to enkindle the holy flame of Your love which You have placed in my heart so that I might become a radiant beacon of Faith to all I meet this Advent season and beyond. 

I pray that every person I encounter will feel Your holy presence in my soul. I humbly offer this prayer to Your most Sacred Heart, dear Lord Jesus. I trust in You. Amen.

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You can see this article at: http://www.integratedcatholiclife.org/2012/12/donna-marie-cooper-oboyle-moving-closer-to-the-crib/